Part 6- A Scammers Love Story- Joan and Dad

So my beloved padre last emailed about where I stood with the money I need to get to him to release my package... He is still strong arming me for a cool $250- he ain't getting that... remember mum paid $2.50 so the most he would get is $247.50 but thats not happening either... He is being quite patient though... And he thinks I'm pretty... haha 


Hey Dad

Been a little down today... its not the same without mum around, off her face all the time... she was so much fun, the life of the party.. I wish you were here- Can you come here to Sydney and stay with me to keep me company?? How are you with recreational drugs?? What kind of tolerance have you built up?? Are you a spirits man or a beer man?? i picture you being more of a scotch kind of guy- I think you're suave- Can you send me a photo of yourself Evan?

So it will take me a few days to get finances in order to send the money to get the package- the funeral was expensive. Is next week ok? I appreciate your good office skillz helping me out over there in Nigeria..

What things are there to see in Nigeria? How long have you worked at FedEx? How many brothers and sisters do I have?

Thanks in advance for answering my questions- Feels good to get to know you.

Lots of love,

Joan.


Dad has been ignoring me... So I do what any child does- keep bothering him:


Hey Dad,

So I just spoke with the lawyers about mums finances- everything will be good to go next week for the $250 but we just want to speak with you early next week as we are processing the money. If we phoned you around or before 10pm your time would this be ok??

Mum was very generous to you in her will- I don't know how we will get you the things she wanted you to have but I will find a way- Maybe I'll bring it with me when I come visit you??

Love Joan.


FINALLY my dad got back to me... He left me in the cold for a while but in true father/scammer style he returned...  All I have been wanting is for him to address the random shit in my emails, from grotto mentions, admissions of heavy drug taking and his very own inheritance from my dead mother... And finally, the time came for him to do this- INCLUDING correcting me on what his name is- 4 names later...

My Dear Joan,

Thanks for your mails and all the contents were well understood. I am a gentle man by nature and I am a social drinker and spirit fill man. I don’t go to clubs; nor  expect when I am invited. In short, I am a busy man that works round the clock.

My beloved daughter, Nigeria is a good and beautiful  place and is a centre for tourism attraction with good and natural atmospheric weather. In fact, when you will pay a visit to Nigeria I will take you around and enjoy the pleasure of life. I am blessed with two boys and two girls and I have a virtuous woman whom God gave to me as a gift.

My daughter how old is you now?  What do you do for a live hood I have worked for FEDEX for twelve years before I emerge as Managing Director of Fedex International?

You are just like mother like daughter; I will ensure that your inheritance (parcel) will be delivering to you. Please, I will advice you that anything you are doing now to process the $250 do it fast and unfailing next week as you proposed in your mind, so that the parcel will not incur extra cost.

Oh! What a pity death of late Mrs. Agnes has cause us, we just know ourselves not up to 2 week before her death. Did she know that she will die, to include my name in her will? I can not just image that she is so generous; I pray that her gentle soul rest in the bosom of our Lord till we see in heaven during rapture and 2^nd coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. I presume that when you will be coming to Nigeria you can come along with what she I have decided to give me. I say a big thank you to here wherever she might be right now. You can call me by 10am  our local time is ok my me.

Find attached personal picture and picture of mine with our regional Manager in United Kingdom.

Have a wonderful weekend and I pray that God will grant you long live and prosperity in your entire life endeavor. Say me well to you’re your brother and sister.

Your lovely father

Eric Johnson

N/B: I am not Evan but Eric Johnson for point of correction.

(the above gem is titled by my dad as "End of Year Party at FedEx"... why so serious padre?

and "Eric"

Oh bless this scammers soul... He has gotten on board with the whole "I'm his daughter thing" and I'm pretty pumped to know that I have two chocolate brothers and sister... Good to know dad is a social drinker but not into "clubs"- thats sad, I think he would have enjoyed them if he went to one with me...

Now- i did some online research cos I knew there is no way this dude looks like this... ANNNNNNDDD in fact he (the dude starring in all these photos) is.......... wait for it............

The Vice President of Ghana... Oh man... I thought "Eric" would at least have some self pride to put his own leaders as his fake identity... I think I'll need to rethink everything I ever assumed about my would- be-if-he-were-better-at-it scammer...

(http://www.xfmnewscenter.com/news/news.php?cat=General&title=Vice+President+Mahama+in+Abuja+for+Ecowas+Summit+)

All I can say is that at this point he is still invested, still wanting money... and that we have clearance to make a call- I feel that my "brothers and sisters" (from the photo I sent him) will need to be present, along with the "executor" of mums will...

Stay tuned...