Re-Scamming Reverend Style- Busted

Well I was right- I WAS on the cusp of getting in touch with a human... But I didn't know I was on the cusp of getting in touch with someone who had half a brain and could understand English... It was bound to happen but I got called out...

(16/4/11)


You should be ashamed of your stupid self.


I did the rational thing... Got angry and replied on the spot... Looking back, I should have replayed it... And tried to see if I could make him believe I was Courtney Love... Next time...


Really I should be ashamed at myself??? Really?? Really... Please Mr Oxford McMorris- great fucking name arsehole- not weird at all... Are you related to a dictionary??? 

No I guess you're right... I should be ashamed of myself... I wish I could be like you and try to scam people for their money- That is dream I'll always aspire to... Long live the champ Mr Oxford McMorris- International Remittance Officer... 

Ps Great ID... I mean really great- unbelievably believable...


I'm assuming this is the end... Unless my DIC wants to cyber to cyber combat with me...

Part 6- A Scammers Love Story- Joan and Dad

So my beloved padre last emailed about where I stood with the money I need to get to him to release my package... He is still strong arming me for a cool $250- he ain't getting that... remember mum paid $2.50 so the most he would get is $247.50 but thats not happening either... He is being quite patient though... And he thinks I'm pretty... haha 


Hey Dad

Been a little down today... its not the same without mum around, off her face all the time... she was so much fun, the life of the party.. I wish you were here- Can you come here to Sydney and stay with me to keep me company?? How are you with recreational drugs?? What kind of tolerance have you built up?? Are you a spirits man or a beer man?? i picture you being more of a scotch kind of guy- I think you're suave- Can you send me a photo of yourself Evan?

So it will take me a few days to get finances in order to send the money to get the package- the funeral was expensive. Is next week ok? I appreciate your good office skillz helping me out over there in Nigeria..

What things are there to see in Nigeria? How long have you worked at FedEx? How many brothers and sisters do I have?

Thanks in advance for answering my questions- Feels good to get to know you.

Lots of love,

Joan.


Dad has been ignoring me... So I do what any child does- keep bothering him:


Hey Dad,

So I just spoke with the lawyers about mums finances- everything will be good to go next week for the $250 but we just want to speak with you early next week as we are processing the money. If we phoned you around or before 10pm your time would this be ok??

Mum was very generous to you in her will- I don't know how we will get you the things she wanted you to have but I will find a way- Maybe I'll bring it with me when I come visit you??

Love Joan.


FINALLY my dad got back to me... He left me in the cold for a while but in true father/scammer style he returned...  All I have been wanting is for him to address the random shit in my emails, from grotto mentions, admissions of heavy drug taking and his very own inheritance from my dead mother... And finally, the time came for him to do this- INCLUDING correcting me on what his name is- 4 names later...

My Dear Joan,

Thanks for your mails and all the contents were well understood. I am a gentle man by nature and I am a social drinker and spirit fill man. I don’t go to clubs; nor  expect when I am invited. In short, I am a busy man that works round the clock.

My beloved daughter, Nigeria is a good and beautiful  place and is a centre for tourism attraction with good and natural atmospheric weather. In fact, when you will pay a visit to Nigeria I will take you around and enjoy the pleasure of life. I am blessed with two boys and two girls and I have a virtuous woman whom God gave to me as a gift.

My daughter how old is you now?  What do you do for a live hood I have worked for FEDEX for twelve years before I emerge as Managing Director of Fedex International?

You are just like mother like daughter; I will ensure that your inheritance (parcel) will be delivering to you. Please, I will advice you that anything you are doing now to process the $250 do it fast and unfailing next week as you proposed in your mind, so that the parcel will not incur extra cost.

Oh! What a pity death of late Mrs. Agnes has cause us, we just know ourselves not up to 2 week before her death. Did she know that she will die, to include my name in her will? I can not just image that she is so generous; I pray that her gentle soul rest in the bosom of our Lord till we see in heaven during rapture and 2^nd coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. I presume that when you will be coming to Nigeria you can come along with what she I have decided to give me. I say a big thank you to here wherever she might be right now. You can call me by 10am  our local time is ok my me.

Find attached personal picture and picture of mine with our regional Manager in United Kingdom.

Have a wonderful weekend and I pray that God will grant you long live and prosperity in your entire life endeavor. Say me well to you’re your brother and sister.

Your lovely father

Eric Johnson

N/B: I am not Evan but Eric Johnson for point of correction.

(the above gem is titled by my dad as "End of Year Party at FedEx"... why so serious padre?

and "Eric"

Oh bless this scammers soul... He has gotten on board with the whole "I'm his daughter thing" and I'm pretty pumped to know that I have two chocolate brothers and sister... Good to know dad is a social drinker but not into "clubs"- thats sad, I think he would have enjoyed them if he went to one with me...

Now- i did some online research cos I knew there is no way this dude looks like this... ANNNNNNDDD in fact he (the dude starring in all these photos) is.......... wait for it............

The Vice President of Ghana... Oh man... I thought "Eric" would at least have some self pride to put his own leaders as his fake identity... I think I'll need to rethink everything I ever assumed about my would- be-if-he-were-better-at-it scammer...

(http://www.xfmnewscenter.com/news/news.php?cat=General&title=Vice+President+Mahama+in+Abuja+for+Ecowas+Summit+)

All I can say is that at this point he is still invested, still wanting money... and that we have clearance to make a call- I feel that my "brothers and sisters" (from the photo I sent him) will need to be present, along with the "executor" of mums will...

Stay tuned...

Re-Scamming Reverend Style- Part Two

we just emailed the Rev regarding Courtney Loves (my) ridiculousness and her need for guidance.. This next email is to the guy that the Rev. informed me is the person I need to speak with to get my inheritance from the late Mathew P Allen.
(16/4/11) Courtney- Mr. Dic


 Hello Mr Oxford McMorris,

I am emailing you regarding my inheritance from Mr Mathew P. Allen. I received an email from a lovely Rev. Jonathan P. Daniels yesterday and he informed me that you are the man I need to get in touch with regarding the transfer of my 950,000 Pound inheritance. 

What do I need to do to get this money as soon as possible? I have a hankering for some illicit things, if you know what I mean. The aren't cheap and work is slow- I killed my cash cow... I mean, my cash cow died... naturally, nothing sus...

Get back to me asap bro.

Word,

Courtney Love.


Thou shalt wait patiently for thy reply..


It didn't take long...


(16/4/11)

Attention: Zoe Pelbart

It's good to hear from you after a long wait.
 
I have been contacted by the Trustees and Executor of the estate of late Mr. Mathew P. Allen in the person of Rev. Jonathan P. Daniels, to credit your account as the beneficiary of his Last Will and I have been waiting to hear from you to enable us proceed with the transfer of the funds to your bank account.
 
Frankly, We, the Standard Chartered Bank Ltd, 1st Floor 54 Jermyn Street, London SW 1 Y 6WL have contacted Rev. Jonathan P. Daniels who happens to be the Spiritual and Financial adviser to our late Customer Mr. Mathew P. Allen to find out the reason why he decided to make you the beneficiary of the entire funds he has with us and he explained all that he knows about it which we believe is the truth. Again, having seen your name and email address written in the Last Will and Testament confirm the reality of it all.
 
Therefore, we have no choice than to carry out the heart desire of our deceased Customer since he is the owner of the funds and it is obvious according to the Last Will and Testament that the funds (£950,000.00) are willed to you.
 
This is real and legitimate and all the necessary documents which prove the authenticity of the transaction will be made available to you as we proceed in the transaction.
 
The management and staffs of Standard Chartered Bank Plc, London have acknowledge the receipt of your mail for the release of  Mr. Mathew P. Allen amount of capital valued at Nine Hundred and Fifty Thousand Pounds deposited with Standard Chartered Bank Plc, 1st Floor 54 Jermyn Street, London SW 1 Y 6WL to you as his beneficiary. The £950,000.00 is equivalent to US$1,468,597.84.
 
However, kindly, re-confirm us the underneath information to enable us verify your authenticity before the funds are paid to you and to re-program your information in our online banking system to facilitate you have access with us. 
 
Full name:  ……………..
Full Address at Resident Country: ……………..
Age: ……………..
Gender: ……………..
Full Amounts anticipate: ……………..
Occupation:  ……………..
Mobile/Telephone Numbers: ……………..
 
We shall contact you shortly after the above details are received and you will be issued your online account log-in to enable you make transfers. 
 
The Last Will and Testament document of late Mr. Mathew P. Allen will also be sent to you in receipt of the above details.

Important Note: The bank advises you to keep every content of this transaction confidential, keep off entirely from the public until the transfer is completed. This is to avoid any fraud, discrepancy, double entry of claims and disqualification. 

Thanks for your co-operation as we’re here to serve you better.
My official Identity card is attached for your perusal.

Yours faithfully,
 
Mr. Oxford McMorris
International Remittance Director
Standard Chartered Bank Ltd, London
Phone: +447031809997, +447031849599

I am particularly fond of this ID and its attempt at creativity- combining so many different media to make one ID. Take for example the photo of a building with "Standard Chartered" on the outside, or the scanned "Signature" on a fucked up dodgy dotted line- the font of "signature" isn't even the same as "International Remittance Director" AND what the hell is a remittance director?? His photo, I will say, is befitting for an ID... 

Oh and lastly- I like that this whole ID is scanned onto what looks like any product you buy thats covered in plastic (razors etc)- you know the plastic that is an arsehole to get off- the kind that you HAVE to have scissors for otherwise it won't open... I assume, like those plastic covered products, that Mr Oxford McMorris' ID hangs on shelves besides the razors...

As of now, my assumption of this scam is that it is very different to Eric/Erin/Ewik/Evan/Dad because I now think so far that I have not communicated with anyone human... This is slightly disappointing since I crafted such a great email to a "Reverend" whom may or may not be a computer... But I feel I am at the cusp of a break through- once my details are sent through on the next email- human to computer to human interaction will begin... Wish me luck...

(16/4/11)

Word up Mr McMorris,

So whats the dealio with this cashola?? How long will this WILL take to process???

Here are my details:

Full name:  Courtney Love
Full Address at Resident Country: America
Age: 46
Gender: Female (at the moment)
Full Amounts anticipate: 950,000 pounds
Occupation: Drugs and twitter
Mobile/Telephone Numbers: 0404xxxxxx

I hate to be stating the obvious, but I feel you should be asking for my bank account details- Don't you need these to put my inheritance into???

Thanks and come back to me soon,

Your CLover

Ps - you should get a burger named after you.. I suggest one on rye, with organic foods- from the looks of your ID you seem very healthy and active...

Re-Scamming Reverend Style- Part One

Somehow internet scammers have my email address... I don't really understand how this happened, I'm assuming that I ticked some box on some random site that sent out my email to the fucking universe and now every scammer and spammer in the world emails me... Luckily I'm turning lemons into lemonade and stringing so many arseholes along for the ride...

This next piece comes from a Reverend. Reverend Jonathan P. Daniels to be precise and he my messenger from Mr. Mathew P. Allen- the man whom died and whose will rose to leave me an inheritance... Yee haw... lucky me... Lets see where this one takes us...

(14/4/11)


This is Rev. Jonathan P. Daniels, the spiritual counselor to late Mr. Mathew P. 
Allen. Late Mathew P. Allen made you a  beneficiary in his Last Will and it 
obviously stated in his Will. This may sound strange but it is only the truth 
and I do not want anything from you in return. Please, reply now and I will 
give you more details. Remain blessed.


(fbrviat@virgilio.it)


What a gem Rev. JPD is, being so kind to get in touch with me about my inheritance... Oh and no- it's not strange at all that some random guy I don't even know left me some shit after he died... So pleased that for once a scammer wants nothing in return... 


Oh note that I have not begun putting scammers email address' in... Just in case anyone else wants to shoot the Rev an email asking if someone left them an inheritance too- I'm sure it wouldn't be annoying at all for him, he has lots of patience and has to turn the other cheek before cracking the shits... or something like that... Oh and this email came from Italy- when did they get so shady? Did the indicted prime minister corrupt an entire nation?? Maybe someone just cancelled their siestas and theyre piiiiiiissed...


(15/4/11)


What up Rev. Jonathan P. Daniels,

It doesn't sound strange at all that Mathew P. Allen left me in his will. 

Here is my reply- please, send me more details... Do I get money? A castle? A pony?

Hurry back,

Courtney Love


Now yes, Courtney Love seems befitting for this re-scam, a reverend- representative of God and a whore... A coke doing, nivarna killing, whore.. I feel a repentance and rebirth coming on at the hands of Rev. Jon.


(15/4/11)


Dear Brother Zoe Pelbart,
 
I'm glad to hear from you. This may indeed sound unbelievable but it is only the truth and nothing but the truth. Your contact information was given to me by Brother Mathew as stated in his Last Will before he passed on.
 
This letter is to make it known to you that late Mr. Mathew P. Allen whom I was his counselor before his death made you a beneficiary in his WILL. He left the sum of Nine Hundred and Fifty Thousand Pounds in your name (Zoe Pelbart) and it is clearly stated on the Last Will and Testament.
Being a widely traveled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were recommended to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you good. Late Mr. Mathew P.  Allen was a British, from West Ham, London until his death was a big business Man in Dubai and member of Institute of Electronic & Electrical Engineers. He was also a Contractor and involved in an oil business. He was a very dedicated Christian who loved to be involved in charitable projects. His great philanthropy earned him numerous awards during his life time. He assisted a lot of individuals, several helpless families and motherless homes.
 
According to him, this money is willed to you personally as led by his good spirit and it is indicated in his Last Will. This is only the truth and nothing but the truth and believe this is God's blessing to you. Things sometimes happen in mysterious ways because we are mere humans we find it difficult to understand.
I have been to the bank where he deposited the funds and I have discussed with the bank Manager who is the foreign money transfer officer in Standard Chartered bank, London where Mr. Mathew P.  Allen had an account, to remit the Nine hundred and fifty thousand Pounds left in the account to you. Please, email him with the below email address which is his private email address and he will gratefully assist you.
Already, he has been told that you will be contacting him soon, so I am sure he is expecting to hear from you in this regard.
 
Name of the banker: Mr. Oxford McMorris
His private email address: oxfordmcmorris3@gmail.com
Telephone: +447031809997, +447031849599
I am a dedicated child of God, a priest and I cannot bring myself so low by lying over serious issue like this one because I have absolutely nothing to benefit from it. This is legal and not a scam and will never be a scam. Please, contact the banker by using the above email address and he will assist you in getting these funds which rightfully belongs to you with all the legitimate documents which proves you the beneficiary of the funds.
 
My Church Identity is attached.
God bless you.
 
Rev. Jonathan P. Daniels

Jesus Christ Rev. JPD- I'm a sister not a brother... But I bet you wish I was a brother... eh eh... Sicko... And my name isn't Zoe Pelbart... Fuck... Why isn't this guy as stupid as Eric/Erin/Ewik/Evan/Dad and read the name that I give to him in my emails as opposed to the one from my email address... Shit...


New plan- a double scam (if in fact Rev. JPD and Mr. Oxford McMorris (great name by the way boys, no really- totally believable) are two separate entities). I shall continue to converse with both parties: Rev. JPD for advice on how to change my (Courtney Loves) wicked ways and to Mr. dictionary for my inheritance information. How cute is the old nugget though... I didn't even have to ask for his ID photo- looking good for an 80 year old... Courtney likey what she sees...


(16/4/11) Courtney to the Rev.


Hey Rev.

Whats going on in the Holy land- are you in the Vatican? Have you been in the room covered in gold? Do you and the other Reverends scrape some of the shit off to add to your grills? I can only imagine...

Thank you for your email, you being a Reverend makes me totally believe that you are honest and trustworthy so I know that my inheritance is real... Now if you were a Priest that would be a different story...

I will definitely email Mr Oxford McMorris about my inheritance but firstly I would like some guidance from you with regards to my life. I am feeling a little wayward of late Rev. and am not sure what to do... I'm not a regualr church goer so I think it was a stroke of fate that you emailed me... 

Below is me... You may think I look a little startled and unkept but I'm actually pretty happy with this look, kind of shabby chic- can you believe it takes me 30minutes in the morning to get this look perfect?? I blame the Olsen twins, they really set the standard for look... they make it look so easy! *shakes fist*... 

So what I feel I need help with is how to be less ridiculous- firstly I named my child Frances- Bean case and point of how much of a ridiculous name it is by the fact that she doesn't talk to me anymore... and secondly- I got flowers tattooed all over my body but really they just look like burns from a massive bender... How can I be less of an embarrassment? How many hail Marys must I say?? Any advice you can give Rev. JPD would be most appreciated.

Thanks in advance and God- is it God you believe in?? i think so... God bless... 

Courtney Love...

PS- Mr Oxford McMorris- Is he related to the dictionary?






Cont. reading for email to Mr. Dictionary.

Part 5- A Scammers love story- Evan and Agnes

Evan just tried to strong arm the late Agnes Collins so I, now Joan Collins- Agnes' daughter, told Evan that Agnes died... That Evan had a stake in Agnes' will and that part of her final financials included the million dollars that was meant to arrive from in the FedEx package... Joan also requested Evans contact number to talk about his "inheritance"... inheritance is code for prank calls...

(12/4/11)


Attn: Joan,

We the entire member of FEDEX  are so sorry for the sad and sudden death of Mrs.Agnes collins your mother who pass away on saturday, please do accept our condolense greetings and I pray may her gentle soul rest in perfect peace and we which her nice rest in the bosom of Abraham. 

Please Joan you have to take heart. I wouldn't mind be your new father.ok Listen such is life, and life goes on.

Meanwhile, i will like you to send me your photograph so that i will know you. I will also appreciate if you can continue with the transaction where your late mother Agnes stopped, so that the parcel will be send to you and i will ensure that you receive your inheritance parcel  in good fate. The only charges she supposed to send  to us was $250.00 but she sent $2.50, unfortunately she supposed to send it yesterday be Monday but i did not hear from her. Please i will give you time to work on sending the $250.00. And as soon as you receive the parcel, i will instruct you to send me an invitation letter that i will tender to embassy for visit to Australia. Please i will like you to send me your address where the parcel can be delivered if it is different from the one Late Mrs. Agness gave to us. This is my telephone number as requested by you +234-70-4329-0302

Thanks while looking forward hearing from you.

Love from,

Eric Johnson
Managing Director
FEDEX


Ok so here is the latest- Evan/ Dad was getting a little anxious to hear from me to he sent me a caring email-

(14/4/11)

Attn: My Beloved Joan,

How are you today? I wrote you but since then i have not heard from you. Is all well with you? Have your late mum  Buried? Pls get back to me, i need to hear from you.

Regards,
Eric Johnson

And my quick response to my new Dad:

(14/4/11)

Hey dad,

this is just a quick email for now, will send a longer one in a few hours.

Things have been very hectic here since we lost mum. Yes we buried her today, which is definitely a relief. She is in a better place now...

I will send you a photo of our family and give you some more details later in the day.

Love you

As promised:

(14/4/11)

Hey Padre,

Sorry about my last email... I was in a rush- had to organise a final hoorah for mum... We had a Hollywood themed soiree in her honor, she would have loved it as it was so true to life- a botox station, coke den and we even installed a grotto that looks exactly like the one at the Playboy mansion. No expense was spared...

Dad, you said you wanted a photo of me and my family- here is one from our party:



A little fancy yes, but we were celebrating a grand womans life...

So like I said in my first email- Mum, Agnes, left you an inheritance to collect and I need to speak with you about this- when is best to call??? We are trying to sort all her financial affairs out as soon as possible.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Joan- oh I'm the one on the right in the photo.. The other two are my brother and sister- can you be their dad too..???


Hmmm... I'm feeling at this point I feel the shock and awe status of my re-scam is slowly dying down... but I still can't help getting a very grinch-like grin every time I see that he has replied to one of my super ridiculous emails... Will he ever respond to some of the things I say- I would love him to ask what botox is or what a playboy grotto is... Has he seen a pool before?

(14/4/11)

Hi my dear joan,

Thanks for your mail. In fact you are a beautiful woman, i will love to see you in person as time goes on. Like the other two the are already mature to father someone, i guess i am right. I also thank God for the befiting burial you accorded to late Agnes your mother, i know she will be happy whenever she is right now. Actually, she have a parcel with  Fedex that she have not claim, but the only fee she has to pay is $250.00, if you can make arrangement and send the fee before the weeks tomorrow, i will do my best to ensure that you get the parcel in time.  It supposed to have incur extra cost, but i use my good office  to put on hold on it,  but If you are ready you can use the following information  of our correspondence western union agent below  as follows:

Destination: Lagos - Nigeria.
Receivers Name: Imoukhuede Henry
 
Note you are required to forward the below payment information after making this payment.
 
Senders Address.
text question; what colour?
Anwser; Green
Amount Sent in dollars:$250
Senders Name..................
MTCN #........................
 
Lastly, note that upon the receipt of this cost of deliver your parcel  will arrive your designated address within the next 72 Hours and i will forward you with the tracking number immediately.

Thanks while looking forward hearing  from you

I Love you,
Eric Johnson,
Managing Director
FEDEX.